A Factitious Fly on the Wall During the White House Summit on Crime

As the Spingola Files reported yesterday, Milwaukee’s 2013 per capita homicide rate has now surpassed that of gang invested Chicago.

Today, WTMJ radio reported that Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett and Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn are “arriving back from Washington, DC. They traveled to the capitol to discuss violence” with President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder.

http://www.620wtmj.com/news/local/Mayor-Barrett-and–221460821.html

Here is how I imagine a factitious conservation between the meetings of these minds playing its way out:

Barrett: 

Mr. Attorney General, our per capita homicide rate has exceeded President Obama’s hometown, a city riddled with Gangster Disciples, Latin Maniacs, Vice Lords and Black P-Stone Rangers.

Holder: 

Mayor Barrett, I can assure you that my politically correct initiative, which I unveiled last week in a speech to the American Bar Association—quite fittingly in San Francisco—will buy some good will in the community by refusing to have drug dealers mandatorily sentenced for crimes, my office, alone, feels are non-violent, back into your already violence plagued community.

Flynn:  

Ah, Mr. Attorney General, ah, I don’t know all the nuances of your new policy , but, if I keep my mouth shut and refuse to criticize your decision to usurp the laws passed by congress, can my department get our hands on more borrowed or newly printed federal grant money. That way, when those you’ve refused to appropriately prosecute get out of prison early, my department’s Sharp Shooter gunshot detection system will be able to pinpoint the location of their crimes. Pretty please…more grant money and we’ll go away without making so much as a peep.

Obama:

Mayor Barrett, now that your city’s crime fighting strategy has taken a back seat to Chicago’s, may I suggest that you get in touch with Rahm Emanuel, who has invited gang leaders to a summit on violence and has asked gang members not to fire indiscriminatingly into crowds when targeting rivals.  You might want to look into these strategies, which seem to be working better than Chief Flynn’s data driven policing—otherwise known as documenting where the dead bodies are chalked out before heading to the morgue.

Holder:  

And what about the attacks of black men by whites in Milwaukee, Chief Flynn? What do you plan to do about this?

Flynn:

Ah, ah, that really isn’t an issue for us, as we’ve had only one such incident, unless you count a tavern owner who recently shot and killed a man robbing his south side tavern as an unprovoked attack.  That being said I promise I will make it as difficult as I can for the tavern owner to get his gun back.

Obama: 

Why that robber, probably a troubled youth, would still be alive today if congress had passed my gun control legislation.  So what are we going to do to address the epidemic of violence in your city, Mayor Barrett?  How about throwing more money into programs that focus on early release and diversion so these troubled members of society do not get corrupted while in jail or prison?

Barrett: 

Better yet, I could just slam Scott Walker for failing to fund $500,000 in police overtime, even though, at the same time, I am furloughing my own officers.

Obama:

Tom, you’re a genius. Your plan won’t cost us a single penny. Demagoguery is so cost effective. How about I offer you that ambassadorship to Syria. Since you’re from Milwaukee, you’re used to the gunfire, right?

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Steve Spingola is an author and retired Milwaukee Police Department homicide detective. His latest print edition only book, Best of the Spingola Files, Volumes I & II, is now available at Amazon.com.

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Spingola-Files-Volume-Steven/dp/0979683998/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1364048098&sr=8-1&keywords=best+of+the+spingola+files

If your organization is on the lookout for an outstanding guest speaker, please consider the Spingola Files’ Psychology of Homicide presentation.

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© Steven Spingola, Wales, WI, 2013

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